Monday, May 21, 2007
During the night walk few dayz b4 i felt darkness was so eerie but yet its so beautiful......but thanks to someone who walk with me by my side allow to feel the beauty of the darkness too...darkness.....isn't so bad when someone are by ur side .........but thats the 1st time i wanna to have a feel of wat happiness is ....not from lonely.....from friends...
haiz after the night walk i start to change back to the past ....the past that i would actually feel that the world is beautiful...its good...but thats also the time when no one is by my side .......i feel like nothing....just like my past ......really have no one that i can rest on....after that i really wanna just lie my head on someone that i yearn but still i dunno whether i will have that chance or not ........sound so saddist ...mayb thats wat i am bah .....
dunno y when i start to chiong my studies my morale was so low...and keep thinging of something.....just cant shake it off my mind ;p. wanna chiong more dun wan to lose out to "jialat"
but sometimes i really hope that i can have someone in my heart to push forward even more to the top ......
Dunno y i finally feel that alot of thing are real yet so fake ...sound offending.....but ya quite through after i done abit of soul searching.....the level of understanding to this "red dust world" is getting to quite a confusing state .....just like a test.....a test to pull me down./......but even if im pull i will climb double...triple...more harder to complete my parents wish. By getting a degree cert from a local University.....
ARGHHHHHHHH...after listening to BYUL by Kim Ah Joong i really feel so sad and clear......and make me wanna to have the real half of minne to be by my side......it is a song that will really find urself back really and a very nice song.......
8:41 AM; &they are gone forever
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
WHYYYY whyyy force me REVIVE MY HATRED YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY................arghzzzzz....AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Heart tearing now hatred hold power .....True Love hold power...........how i wish i can have the 2nd choice that someone suggest to me ...BUT I CANT......and the situation is more like the 1st choice....and now im drawn to the evil side.....hehhehehehahahahaha
Years of cultivation burnt out by anger ...hatred......WHY....why....why....i only ask for peace in my mind why must others force me to go this path WHY and just nice is my working area person evoke my evilness.....the devil alway love to repay their debt for awaking them ......and u shall receive that so called " Kindness" from the very very depth of hell ...ashes to ashes ..
An advice for myself retribution shall comes along for all the dark deal....but im willing scarifice for the others .......Wish that none shall take this path ....even if taken this path find mean and way to get back plzs plzs...its simply tearing ur heart urself...its superpainful but also joyful
Today actually im trying to think someone that will let me remember the most but that so called someone din appear in my mind.................im so sad .....feel like crying but i promised myself never never never shall i let my tear of sadness to appear in this world....unless there is someone that is able to mend my shatter broken heart only has the right to let my tear to roll
7:41 AM; &they are gone forever
