Friday, April 24, 2009
Bomb,Barrel,Bomabardment
This few day seems like cant avoid being bombard all the tome be it anywhere or everywhere. Worst is being bomb until inside out. i help ppl "that bunch of ppl" bombard me. When their prob is solve they treat thing as nothing. SUA DULAN. going back to outside world also kana shoot kana bomb. thought life will be better although the bom is so less so minor but its just dug out the pain each and pieces from my heart. This world sucks man. i dun hope for anything cause ultimately it give me despair....i dun wish or argue for the thing i wan cause it will turn out to be either useless or worthless. i always wan to change to better man and hell look at me now. im bloody hell complainging this and that. yes other suffer alot more than me they ought should complain more than me. so does that mean i cant complain. ppl try to understand ppl more but yet always turn out ppl being understood dun understand the ppl who understand them. isnt this the law of human. y would i think of that cause thats wat i see. i tried to understand the whole world but end up do they even understand me? thats y i say i dun hope for anything it will turn out to be more hurtful towards me. i HATE THIS WORLD. my heart recently started to feel back with hatred. im becoming a worst man. my attitude becoming worst. my fear of height even get worse. sometimes i really do just y cant i sleep eternally just like my grampy. maybe im tired or wat. maybe im lack of wat. i dunno. suddenly i choose to become follower than to become half follower and half leader. there are some ppl that i once teach them turn out to be shit of this world. choosing a path that end up my own destruction. hahaha end up im still that bad guy i wanted for in my life. but is a worthless useless bad guy.......... heart really hurts more and more and seems like there is no cure.............i couldnt make my gf happy even this week is her birthday week. wat shit bf i am. i cant accept her joke and i take it as hurtful words. she cant accept my jokes....i tried to care but she just keep silence. maybe the prob lies with me. suddenly is like our comunication breakdown.... even though she wan to resolve the prob yesterday night..... but i could only see everything turn out will be seeing my fault arise from the start till now. i could only see endless fault from me. is my gf defensive. she need to be defensive. do i need to be defensive. no i dont neeed i dont see the point when im hurt so much inside out to the core and defence for myself. i just feel like lying down bleed to death. slowly stab one stab by one stab from everyone in the world that i know stab me and stab me. last time i could even accept betrayal..... but now i become so weak that i cannot accept stabbing in front of me from everyone. stabbing from ppl i trust in army......... even worse than stabbing. i should say its bomb. its bombardment from their barrel. cause they are gunner. im just 2 flag waving for them to bomb. and now im so weak till i brought out this stupid prob out to my own world. trying to be perfect i cant anymore. just let me bleed to death. for those who wan to stab more please stab more in the front. some stab at the back also can. just stab as much as u all wan bah. im tired. i will be the corpse for the world to stab........wanna bomb just bomb bah since its area of effect. FOXTROT TANGO WHISKY
7:56 PM; &they are gone forever
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
this week is a short week for me in ns due to good friday....but i end up only can meet my baobei once...which is on sat....cos fri i need to go shao mu with my parents and sun baobei gg batam with her family....so nice, can go batam with her family. so poor me got to stay at home and sleep whole day. but at least i can pei my parents even though they might be out wrking whole day....
anw, baobei helped me change my blogskin...haha....very nice hor? i think is quite cool...haha...my baobei so li hai...always get nice things for me de. love her lah.
my mama's bday coming le...two impt persons in my life haf bday on april..one is mama...another one is baobei...haha. then i promised my parents that i m gg to cook for them on mama's bday but end up dunno cook wad....haha....headache...then baobei helped me think of some dishes...lol...if really no choice i think i order pizza le..haha.then ownself eat...lol....as for baobei..i prepared her bday gift le...haha...dun wan to tell her...gg to give her on 18th even though her bday on 26th...lol...v.excited to give her...then see her happy face and her smile....haha....miss her alot nw.....this week can only meet her once loh.....very sad....=(
but baobei promise to bring nice nice things back for me from batam...haha...she for sure shop whole day de...lol...my baobei so cute lah.....^.^
tmr ns got exams.....wah...cham liao...tmr dunno how i cry cos got tt tear gas exam.....i 1st batch somemore....lol...tmr i laugh and cry then ppl thought i siao...haha....then still got M16 rifle...first time handling siaz...ppl all handle be4 bt i 1st time...somemre got exam on that....waaa.....but i promise baobei i can pass de...so i for sure can pass...baobei said must be confident in myself.i will do it for her de.=)
hao lah....gtg liao...need to book in again....tmr need to wake up at 5am....sian...hope tmr can pass then faster book out meet baobei...yay...tmr can meet bao bei le^.^....haha,cant wait.....miss her alot. tap water gg to flow again le....
anw......thanks baobei for helping me to type this entry....haha.....cos i now not infront of computer....LOL.
Credits to: Baobei=)
7:04 AM; &they are gone forever
