Friday, March 20, 2009
Breakdown
Have u ever once in a week deem as no esteem no confidence?
Have u ever once a week try to care for the ppl u love and ended up hurting or being hurt?
Have u ever once a week been so stress out been so tired out by many thing?
Have u ever once a week do something u never done be4 and u cant take it?
Have u ever once a week trying to understand someone u love and ended up with all the harsh words?
Have u ever once a week trying means and way to protect ur love and ended up unappreciated?
Have u ever once a week really have the heart to meet ur love yet there are so many thing just happen to block the way?
Have u ever try to console ur love one yet ended being hurt so much yet u still let ur love hate herself saying all the harsh thing that she think?
Hadnt i done so much thing using all the action to prove that i tried solving all the prob? i tried but y i fail i dunno y? yesterday night i was giving my love to her ....but the more she speak .....everything sounded i should not even been born to this world..... when the word extra come out......i felt more like im the extra......cause i was deem as extraordinary........ u once say i ought to have my own stand...... here my stand was crush down totally..... i dunno wats wrong with me....recently i just cant accept anything anymore and yet the world whole is asking more and more......be it at work be it family be it love one........i tried to balance thing out so that all would be happy.......but the more i tried the more negative result it ended....... i didnt know when i truly need support and i really had no support at all......whenever i need support i ended up making ppl angry sad hating me..... is just like in the past......my existence was always an extra...... once im used finish just throw me one side and wait to be reuse...... i tried to be nice i tried to control my temper i tried even throwing my temper away so that i wont hurt my love one........when i can finally control.....everything came crashing down on me.... recently my heart getting hurt more and more ...... i think i just wait for it till it cannot handle all the stress and let it burst bah.....ultimately im still deem as a useless guy in the whole wide world.......i cant let my love one be happy ....i hurt her....... i cant totally let my family be happy..... i was scolded......i cant even let my buddy be happy......i was shoot badly........ my love my family and my buddy was my whole life......all just turn against me....... i really hate to be ..... the myself now.......the worst pain of all is i hurt my bao bei so much even when i tried to console i even cant speak up for her and ended up speaking out for myself.....i fail to understand her more......i fail my stress management......i fail everything....... i just hope i dun drag my love down when im really super unlucky this year...... just hope just pray just wish that my love can be heal internally and externally.....hope her asthma wont attack up ever again and no sickness happen to er......just pray that she is safe and sound nothing bad ever happen to her.....and just wish she receive the happiness she ask for...... for i myself i dun wan to ask for more be4 i lose everything.........i know the feeling of losing when u started wan to cherish....... and i hope i still can cherish my bao bei for the rest of my life........ but be4 that i had already breakdown.....i know she also breakdown too le.......but .........i cant get up meanwhile.......just lying down there bleeding bah........ when is the next crisis maybe next week? maybe tomorrow maybe even later........i cannot take it le........ i dun need my gf to control or to give in anymore le....... she is probably too tired too le....... her heart is also tired le....... sorry bao bei that i did not understand u more........i tried ....but i fail...... dun hate yourself please....... just hate me as u can bah...... im sorry......
3:56 PM; &they are gone forever
Monday, March 16, 2009
HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY
YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH we are one year le hehehe very very happy. hahaha although got in mind wat to bought for her but i never expect just bought the gift the sales girl manage to convince my to buy additional thing so i bought it too never thought the price waseh ....enough for me not to spend the money for next 3 week le lol. But anyway thats not the main point. the main point is OH MY GOD MY BAO BEI WEAR SO HOT ON THAT DAY. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA BUAY TAHAN LAR Y MY BAO BEI SO BEAUTIFUL LAR......errr too enthu le ... errr anyway well YEAH my bao bei treat me ice white chocolate mocha waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa SO NICE LAR. awwww den i just cant stop drinking den after that we go pasta mania =)
At 1st thought we will be craving for apple crumble but ended up we call set meal and eat our lunch at suntec. i got to say that its quite nice lar the food but well i ended up at toilet somehow worst is during our fun time ~.~! after our lunch we go suntec arcade to have fun hahaha ended up we play the lame game hahaha we played all 3 scenario but .... the coin stuck and we got to call the ppl to take out the coin. den after that my stomache so much that i got to rush to toilet in the end haiz... spoil mood. but be4 that i got to mention that the lavender smell that bao bei bought for me is so nice lar. smell le somehow will be distress somehow. and sorry bao bei let u spend so much on that bottle. but i truely love it so much and its helpful to insonmia really. thank you bao bei =)
Anyway IT show did create quite alot of trouble for us. we got stuck 3 place and we ended up wasting quite alot of time stuck inside the crowd.. and my bao bei got piss off with a gal who piss me off. aww lar aww lar chill chill =) smilez. Its super hot and somehow we can use another short cut to mrt cause they close the gate of the mrt but ended up both of us got soak in water. hahaha but bao bei get dry up very fast somehow.
After we reach her house i go see her unwanted computer part and i take things that i may need out den after that i started to do all the puzzle thing. i told myself i wan to do as much as possible i dun wan my bao bei to get scolded by her mum for not doing her puzzle. so i set my brain usage to quite high and keep doing the max or even over the limit. =) and guess wat the bottom part is finsih.. YEAH.
haiz.....but good thing always never last i still got to book in to camp in the night sian..... den after that i tried to keep on hugging my bao bei and dun let her go. cause she is so warmth....i just wanna keep on hugging her till i sleep somehow.....ok dun say im sicko or wat just that wan a pure hug till i sleep thats all. haiz..... i just wan her ....
BAO BEI TELL U ONE THING I WILL NEVER WAN TO LEAVE U AND I WAN TO BE WITH U TILL THE END OF OUR TIME.........HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY I LOVE U (^. ^) Loving u deeply from the bottom of my heart .
5:42 AM; &they are gone forever
