Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Too Good means not good
This post shouldnt be familiar as others may sound it out but im just another one that have this incident occur on me.
I landed in a place where i choose myself and listen to the wrong person saying that place would be a better place. But when i reach there it isnt as good as those were to say. Starting im like a ghost over there not recognise and not appreciated. The more i work even trying my minimal not to show im too up or wat they all means garang. But eventually i over work and it seems everyone have all kind of comment. basically just like im not the management lvl staff but i acted like one all those kind. True im not the management staff but its just like the CEO of the whole company entitled me something like management staff which none of the ppl in the company recognise.
Maybe im still not that matured yet i do still take in some bad comments all this stuff. But lucky i met someone who had the same frequency as me as least life is not too bad. Got one more ppl that can have heart to heart chat. At least with him life isnt that bad. Of course got my dear dear to keep spamming msg to me. If not i will be the pessimistic again.
I found myself too blind on the ranks. Something that i over hold it and break it in my hand. I gotta accept myself a normal staff instead of being up in the management staff. I wan the old self me again. Happy go lucky. Even ppl were not to recognise me i still got my love ones and my buddy to chat with. But the buddy is going to leave in june which will make me more lonely.... meanwhile i gotta to be more mentally stronger. Even were to take all my books to read in camp. i found myself too complacent and neglecting in upgrading myself. Thats y i ended myself taking in of others comment and make myself feel so terrible. Although i already break down the moment i reach my room. But come to think of that im so immature. Im a grown up. But yet i still have the thinking of a teenager.
This society is just like some monstrous place. Its just that i become forgetful. maybe at times when im back to work, it would be a better me of putting no feeling at all. At times being too emotion isnt as good as it is, especially at works. Putting emotion into works is forbidden as it will affect the process of the works.
Best part of life is end of the week or end of the day u can see ur parents call them papa mama im home and ask them to eat. Even to chat with ur love one through msn. sometimes when u go think u dun need to be rich or poor or whatever u can think to feel bless and warmth. The warmth ultimately come from yourself to the others and its links thats y the bond between parents are so strong and unbreakable even if u deny it.
Lastly im lucky enough to have my love one accompany me even if its through msn =)
Lucky got my dear dear accompany me for so long and even endure my bad temper. Thanks dear dear. Sorry for ill treating u when im in bad mood sorry (>. <) promise u to treat u better once i leave this lousy 'company' i love u dear *SMOOCH*
4:50 AM; &they are gone forever
