Friday, April 24, 2009
Bomb,Barrel,Bomabardment
This few day seems like cant avoid being bombard all the tome be it anywhere or everywhere. Worst is being bomb until inside out. i help ppl "that bunch of ppl" bombard me. When their prob is solve they treat thing as nothing. SUA DULAN. going back to outside world also kana shoot kana bomb. thought life will be better although the bom is so less so minor but its just dug out the pain each and pieces from my heart. This world sucks man. i dun hope for anything cause ultimately it give me despair....i dun wish or argue for the thing i wan cause it will turn out to be either useless or worthless. i always wan to change to better man and hell look at me now. im bloody hell complainging this and that. yes other suffer alot more than me they ought should complain more than me. so does that mean i cant complain. ppl try to understand ppl more but yet always turn out ppl being understood dun understand the ppl who understand them. isnt this the law of human. y would i think of that cause thats wat i see. i tried to understand the whole world but end up do they even understand me? thats y i say i dun hope for anything it will turn out to be more hurtful towards me. i HATE THIS WORLD. my heart recently started to feel back with hatred. im becoming a worst man. my attitude becoming worst. my fear of height even get worse. sometimes i really do just y cant i sleep eternally just like my grampy. maybe im tired or wat. maybe im lack of wat. i dunno. suddenly i choose to become follower than to become half follower and half leader. there are some ppl that i once teach them turn out to be shit of this world. choosing a path that end up my own destruction. hahaha end up im still that bad guy i wanted for in my life. but is a worthless useless bad guy.......... heart really hurts more and more and seems like there is no cure.............i couldnt make my gf happy even this week is her birthday week. wat shit bf i am. i cant accept her joke and i take it as hurtful words. she cant accept my jokes....i tried to care but she just keep silence. maybe the prob lies with me. suddenly is like our comunication breakdown.... even though she wan to resolve the prob yesterday night..... but i could only see everything turn out will be seeing my fault arise from the start till now. i could only see endless fault from me. is my gf defensive. she need to be defensive. do i need to be defensive. no i dont neeed i dont see the point when im hurt so much inside out to the core and defence for myself. i just feel like lying down bleed to death. slowly stab one stab by one stab from everyone in the world that i know stab me and stab me. last time i could even accept betrayal..... but now i become so weak that i cannot accept stabbing in front of me from everyone. stabbing from ppl i trust in army......... even worse than stabbing. i should say its bomb. its bombardment from their barrel. cause they are gunner. im just 2 flag waving for them to bomb. and now im so weak till i brought out this stupid prob out to my own world. trying to be perfect i cant anymore. just let me bleed to death. for those who wan to stab more please stab more in the front. some stab at the back also can. just stab as much as u all wan bah. im tired. i will be the corpse for the world to stab........wanna bomb just bomb bah since its area of effect. FOXTROT TANGO WHISKY
7:56 PM; &they are gone forever
