haiz today just really not me.....hate to say so.....but damn me......wat am i when i seriously think............i dunno ......when i ask myself again when i hurt someone i love......i found myself getting smaller and smaller .............even not seeing myself.......morning i wake up scared cause of going NS and miss my bao bei so much and scared because leaving my bao bei alone...........wat she wan i give in ....but she give an idea today....somehow i felt hurt and accept unwillingly....i know she meant for my good....but somehow i just felt hurt ............if anybody were to ask me y i would say i duno......cause i even duno about myself.......and because of i dunno about my ownself i hurt my bao bei...again.....when im in the room alone closing my door ....i really felt alone....i was waiting for call or sms.......but none ......i always hope.....but always been despair......but den again....i think properly.....its my fault......and when i sort out my mind i try calling her sending her sms but she just no reply....haiz.....is NS giving me Fear.....no.....im Fearing for losing my bao bei.....thats y im not myself.......i Fear for losing her......really.....yet....i ...hurt....her.....im ...sorry..bao bei....im...sorry....