Monday, August 11, 2008
I cant control my tears
Ytd at 1st was suppose to be a very good day never thought everything turn out very bad by some accident..........i was dealt heavy blow 4 times........a day .....all is so fatal..........i make my bao bei lose all the trust in me........and still even though i try consoling her telling her that i still love her as ever confirming her that my love is true even though she accept it but the word break up still keep coming in my mind ......when she go sleep ........i cant help again but to cry even now when im typing......i cried in my dream in my heart..........i let a very loved one lose trust in me ........she say she cant trust anyone anymore...........when i wake up still ytd scene was still so clear and i still cant help to breakdown.............how i wish everything is my fault...............but somehow at the same time i was worrying for her........her health....her thinking ......even though i accepted her apology but yet dunno y everthing turns out for the worst..........a simple love where i give and provide turns out to be distrust.........its all my fault ........how i wish i can admend ytd history .........hope she still can feel that i still love her as always......but still one thing i have to say about her..........ytd........she is so harsh .....and break me .........eventually......at the moment i really cant accept ......i hate reality ........i hate myself even more...............all my old wound act up double the pain and i cant be bother to heal it anymore le.............cause my heart pain even more.................sometimes is my existence in this world is it a wrongful choice or wat...........i fail to give my love all the security she wan i fail to prove her that i understand her .........somehow when i come to think about this my tears will just flow....this few day just count me suay bah .....i let her feel worst than single life........but still i pray hard for her happiness and health.......but dunno y the break up word still in my mind and i just cant control my tears to break down and cry....
8:01 PM; &they are gone forever