Thursday, July 3, 2008
i have a wrong thinking
YTD feel so dead .......walking zombie...............already very dead le...........im totally crush by everything by myself......at the moment i want to hold on to something but i totally no strength le i have no strength to walk forward i lost my courage i lost myself............i agreed my gal able to cheer me up but after seeing her blog in the morning.......wat am i going to say about myself ........uselesss.......or bastard?i felt i have given her stress which i dun wan .......even myself i dunno wats wrong with me...........i dunno how to be angry only know angry myself.......and giving myself something call despair..........reason i start to dislike my thinking ........am i totally stress out by my surrounding :yes .......family buddies work ........im tired .......i can feel i start to curl up and start to isolate myself ........my bao bei is right this is the reality ..........and im the one bound to bear everything......even the tears i flow for missing her so much only myself know and indeed no one pity and i do not want anyone to pity me too.....i ask my self again have a really been happy before i seriously can say 2 times........one is with my Liu nanny house......second is whenever my bao bei is by my side caring and hugging me..............bao bei im apologised for my idiotness my selfishness and my stupid thinking of idea i have.............i just hope i can sleep inside ur arm......haha i can only laugh at my stupid greediness........which is impossible .........suddenly again i wanna curl up and keep sleeping and sleeping .....i can only rate myself as a jerk who let my gal worry for me so much till herself have negative thinking.........im ...such.....a .....jerk....................
6:23 PM; &they are gone forever
