Wednesday, May 28, 2008
autumn wind?
this few day dunno y my physical heart pain alot .....not sure wats going on......if all the pain accumulate i think my heart really cannot tahan for sure.....................really can feel my dayz are numbered just 2 more goal to accomplish .....hope to accomplish my parents dream of getting to university another to let my bao bei be happy and unhurt ...hope additional that i can be with her by her side.......................all my life i have been sleeping and doing nothing just like a useless guy hahaha now having 2 goal to acheive yet i keep feeling death near me
Man im just a dirt and a jerk sometimes the world is so far more better without me ytd night i hurt my love one just because i cant control myself my life having been helping others the best i can yet i cant help myself and my love one its just so unfair ....................i agree im not smart im dumb or sort of idiot but really there are times a wish to have a deal a simple deal take my soul my body and let my bao bei gain her happiness and unhurt and dun let her to hate herself im not those dramatic ppl shown in the tv or wat cause i dun see it been sleeping for my life ...................im just willing to give everything to her but yet she would not like wan to take ............im really not sure the position of me in her heart but i only know in my life she is ever the most i worried for and loved for and i ever feel that i live for ..............she told me dun treat love as everything........but sadly im just someone who chooses small happiness in life and peace in my soul which i wan to share with her .....this few day it has been raining and the rain brought me back to the past of the feeling of feeling the rain fuse with them.................there are sometimes im able to fuse with the nature as i wan but just this body keep stopping me and my wish of accomplishing my goal .....................this 2 goal have been crypted deepp inside my heart so deep that my soul feel it thoroughly ..................for now even if my body is not in this world i hope my soul will protect my bao bei .....................i pray for her safety and happiness everyday with my heart hope that this can come true ..............................love is a selfless giving i finally understand that ..............may the autumn wind blow for me before winter wind comes ............
11:13 PM; &they are gone forever